Leaders: Starting Them Young

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I had a great discussion with a client today about some of the wonderful programs and training their firm is doing for junior-level professionals. They’re investing in young minds, not only for the benefit of the company, but also for the personal benefit of their employees. They see value in helping them improve and grow in all aspects of their lives, not just in their careers. It’s a smart move on many of levels.

I asked if they were also going to include a leadership class as part of the curriculum, mentioning as well that my husband and I talk daily to our elementary school-aged children about leadership. It’s part of their regular vocabulary, understanding…and motivation.

Sure, they’ve got a long way to go before they’ll have an organizational title of leadership, but we’ve made it clear that they can – and should – lead now. Every day. And, our kids understand it. And do it. And are excited by it.

So, if our young children can grasp it, embrace it and run with it, then it would make perfect sense that young professionals could most certainly do so as well.

I submit that companies should immediately and consistently affirm and grow leadership in their young professionals. It will make a difference.

Why? Three major reasons:

Beliefs and attitudes drive behaviors. If people start believing that they can lead; that they can indeed make a difference or have an impact, then they’ll work hard trying to do just that. They have to understand that it IS possible. They can lead from who they are. It’s a choice to be proactive – to see an opportunity to make a difference and to grab onto it and do something with it. But, it starts first with believing in the value of leadership and second, with the notion that they, themselves, can lead. Companies should reinforce this belief and encourage every professional to look for leadership opportunities and take action on them.

Start sooner, get results sooner. By starting young, things that may not be as intuitive can be learned faster, easier and without the challenges of changing long-time bad habits. Good leadership habits will more quickly become part of their norm and will become easier and more graceful earlier in their careers…and they’ll only continue to improve with time. An early investment could have profound results today and years down the road. Instead of beginning to invest in leadership with middle managers, they’ll already be well on their way. This should be helpful as succession plans are being developed as well. The up-front commitment will be impactful for years to come.

People change culture. As young professionals become young leaders, their collective attitudes and actions will shift the culture. Innovative and visionary thinking, proactive and results-oriented behaviors, and greater engagement and collaboration will become more normative. Companies need to be mindful, of course, to celebrate, encourage and reinforce these behaviors so they continue to grow, develop and become more contagious. By fostering and acknowledging these leadership behaviors, the incentives become clear, the norms change and the culture evolves into one of leadership at all levels.

As I listen to my own children, I hear them talk often about being a “leader.” They’re quick to own that label and to do what’s right, even when the majority may go in a different direction. As a mother, I find comfort in seeing this leadership confidence in them. As a leadership coach, I know it’s giving them a head start (a very intentional leaning in for my daughter, especially!)

I think back to when I was a young professional. If I could have owned that leadership label earlier in my career, would I have done anything differently? I’m certain of it. I’m also certain my company would have benefitted just as much as I would have.

Three Crucial Ingredients for Leadership Success

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As a leadership coach, speaker and trainer, I have the great opportunity to spend my time immersed in leadership. I think about it all the time. I notice leadership everywhere – good and bad. I engage in discussion about it – at work with clients, on social media with leadership experts, in my community and home with people I care about. I learn more every day about humanity, inspiration, motivation, vision, fortitude, determination, engagement and more…it’s a constant and passionate process for me. (I’m so grateful to do this!)

In my exchanges with people, I often find that they’re looking for the quick solutions, silver bullets and the easiest path to success. After speaking, people often ask me about “the one thing” I would suggest to them to improve their leadership and help them grow. The simple answer is: it’s not just one thing, and there’s no single response for everyone.

What I can share, however, are three ingredients that are absolutely necessary for leadership success. You’ll need to think about how they apply to you, personally – to your career, strengths and skills.

Ingredient #1: An accurate self-awareness.

Do you know your strengths? Weaknesses? Do you know how others perceive you (whether intentional on your part or not?) Do you know when and how to ask for help? Do you know if people would want to help you? Do you open doors, bring down walls, draw people in? Do you inspire people? Do you bring people together? Are you creating any kind of legacy?

Can you respond to these questions with clarity, confidence and integrity? If not, seek out the answers through assessments, interviews, conversations and more. Then, determine what you need to master…and add the next ingredient…

Ingredient #2: A (passionate) desire to improve and grow.

Certainly celebrate accomplishments, milestones and lessons learned, but never, never, never stop your pursuit of further growth.

Learning is a process, and it shouldn’t expire until you do.

The world changes at a rapid pace these days – new and different people enter your sphere of influence, technology innovations abound, research unveils critical data, and you draw upon life experiences. All of these create an environment for learning, growth and improvement. Surround yourself. Soak it all in. Desire to be a better leader and leverage these opportunities to become better. Never stop. It’s a big world out there, and you’ll never understand it all….but you can try, and you’ll grow as you do!

Ingredient #3: Humility and a desire to help others at least as much as yourself.

Leaders have willing followers. They care about their followers. They serve their followers.

Are other people better for having shared experiences, conversations and interactions with you? Do you consider how you can add value in every exchange? Do you desire (and celebrate) others’ success as much as your own? Is the greater good your priority?

If your world revolves around you, that leaves everyone else out there somewhere else in space. Bring them into your world and figure out how, together, you can make the world a better place for all.

These three ingredients may not be the only keys to success, but I know that you can’t be a great leader without them!!! Regardless of your position, title or experience, you need these ingredients to excel.

Your own personality adds the extra flavoring to finish off this recipe perfectly!! Always remember to add that extra spice – it’s what makes your leadership personal and memorable too!

Sorry, Sheryl. Leaders Are Not Bossy.

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Along with the rest of the world, I’m watching as Sheryl Sandberg receives lots of media attention for the release of her book, Lean In.

Along with millions of others, I also bought my own copy! I’m about halfway through it…but I have some really mixed feelings, especially regarding one particular quote she keeps repeating in most interviews I’ve seen.

Sheryl references the fact that she was often referred to as bossy as she grew up, and it’s clear she wishes it had been framed differently for her. She would have liked for her “bossiness” to have been described as something positive. She even mentions, “it’s personal.”

Although she makes many excellent points throughout the book, I have to say, this particular point is a bad one. Plain and simple.

And, I must add, especially as a mother to a young daughter, I want to make this clear….because, frankly, I’m tired of seeing this quote being cheered all over the Internet.

Bossy is not a leadership skill.

Bossiness and leadership do not go together. At all. Bossiness is an old-school, top-down management style that is domineering, perhaps fear-based, and most certainly selfish.

Leadership is the opposite.

Leadership is engaging. People follow leaders, because they want to, not because they have to. Leadership is compelling and visionary and inspiring.

Leadership brings out the best in people. It empowers them, enhances and leverages their strengths, and it challenges them in ways that reward both the company and employee.

Leadership is selfless. It’s all about the team effort, with credit and accolades flowing accordingly. It’s about helping others, removing their obstacles, making them more successful, growing other leaders, even grooming them to take over your own role.

Leadership has nothing to do with bossiness and everything to do with service.

As a mother of a daughter, I want her to know this. Like Sheryl, I don’t want my daughter (or any other little girl) to be told she’s bossy. The difference is, my approach won’t be to simply change the label. Instead, I’ll coach my daughter to understand how she could assert herself in other ways, so she could lead instead of boss.

I’ll stress the importance of uniting people for a common and inspiring goal; something that benefits all of them. I’ll explain that the weakest and most ineffective way to get something done is to force yourself on others. I’ll point out that willing and passionate engagement makes all the difference. People make all the difference. And people who are bossed will never, ever give their best (or achieve great results.) Their performance will only be the very least they can get away with, so as not to deal with negative ramifications.

I’lll bet Sheryl Sandberg knows this. I’ll bet she’s learned this lesson, possibly even the hard way. I just wish she would use her very relevant and powerful voice to explain this more clearly. Our next generation of young women – and their success – is being heavily influenced by what Sandberg says. She needs to be careful, and she needs to help these women become leaders, not bosses. She needs to stop promoting this quote.

I believe in the great potential of women. I’m certain Sandberg does too. And, I completely agree with one of her other quotes:

“It’s time to cheer on girls and women who want to sit at the table.”

I just hope they’re not bossy when they get there.

Give More, Succeed More?

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I read an article in the New York Times recently that really resonated. The story was about a professor at Wharton; Adam Grant, PhD. He’s the youngest-tenured, highest-rated and a frequently published professor there. Pretty impressive at only 31 years old.

What caught my eye (and my heart) was the topic of his latest book and the article I read. The premise: if you give more, you’ll be more successful. And, Grant cites his research, so there’s data to support his findings.

In the book, Grant defines three categories of people: takers, matchers or givers. Takers, of course, are most concerned about themselves and what they get out of any exchange. Matchers want things to be equalized. Givers, on the other hand, focus on contributing without any expectation in return.

Because great relationships are so essential, the givers of the world are able to develop stronger, more trusted relationships, and therefore more success.

The theme is very reminiscent of another one of my favorite books, The Go-Giver, by Bob Burg. This poignant and easy-to-read business fable makes a very similar point. We should spend more time trying to help others, and in return, we will find greater success and happiness for ourselves. Our giving – and the goodness that comes with it – always seems to come back around to us (but that shouldn’t be our motivation.)

I frequently and passionately coach people with a phrase that my mentor, John Maxwell often states: “Add value.” I’m a firm believer in this.

If you spend your time focusing on how you can add value to others around you, guess what you become? VALUABLE!

If you are valuable to the people around you, what happens? People engage you, trust you and are loyal to you!

The funny thing is, I think this all very simply comes back to The Golden Rule: treat others as you want to be treated. We all know how we want to be treated. We all want to be cared for, appreciated, respected and liked. It’s our human need. But it’s not always so simple to treat others this way, is it? It takes work, thoughtfulness and sometimes a lot of patience and understanding.

It’s always worth it, though. When we give, we always receive so much more than expected.

Try it, won’t you? For the rest of this week, could you put a visual reminder in front of you to be a “Go-Giver?” Can you think of ways to serve others’ needs before your own?

See what happens. Could it be that more success and joy find their way to you? Would it be worth the try?

I hope so. I think it could help you #BecomeYourBest!

Purpose and Joy. The Ideal Cause and Effect.

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My son is really into science. He’s taking an after-school program to learn and discover more too. In several recent experiments, he’s learned about cause and effect. When you do one thing, it causes another. When you change what you do, it has a different effect.

I find comfort knowing that some behaviors in life tend to cause an expected outcome. If you’re curious and open-minded, you’ll probably learn something. If you extend kindness to others, you often find it returning back to you. If you consistently work hard, you likely will see some results.

If you remain focused on your purpose, you will find more joy in your life.

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” ~Mark Twain

Are you still discovering what your purpose is? Have you discovered your strengths? They are God’s equipping for you to accomplish your purpose. You have the tools you need - you simply have to take and use them.

A “strength” is something you’re really good at doing (we’re talking great results!) AND it energizes you at the same time. Both components are necessary for it to be considered a “strength,” according to research from the Gallup organization and their StrengthsFinder assessment. (I highly recommend purchasing the book and taking the online assessment.) The output will include a report of your top 5 Strength Themes. Be aware that these are broad categories and still require you to dig deeper for greater clarity.

Do you already know what your purpose is? If so, are you staying true and committed to it, or are you allowing other things to distract you?

I know I can get distracted!! Things can cloud my vision. Glamorous offers for other kinds of work, financial incentives, or not wanting to be excluded from the “fun” things other people are doing. All of these things (and more) can keep me from remaining purposeful with my time. It requires great discipline. And faith. And support.

I recommend getting clear on your purpose and then communicating it to people close to you. Ask them to help hold you accountable.

Talk with God regularly. Ask for His guidance, direction and strength to move forward – consistently, effectively and efficiently. Remember that He created you for this purpose, and he equipped you perfectly to be wildly successful accomplishing it. You just need to trust Him, submit to Him and then give Him your best.

And in return? He gives us the joy that can only come from following His will for our lives. It’s a blissful, beautiful joy. Miraculously peaceful and exuberant at the same time.

God wants us to enjoy life and the work He set out for us to do.

So I decided there is nothing better than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in work. Then I realized that these pleasures are from the hand of God. (Ecclesiastes 2:24)

Are you doing what you’ve been called to do? What’s standing in the way? How can you use what God gave you to #BecomeYourBest?

Wanting the “Best” For Our Kids

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Studies are being released showing the negative impact of Pinterest on women’s self esteem. It makes them think everyone posting there is the perfect wife, mother, homemaker, hardbody, chef and innovator. It simply isn’t true, but it opens the door to comparison and the ever-destructive question, “am I good enough?”

Even more research has been conducted on the impact of Facebook on adolescent girls. It, too, can be a killer to their self-esteem, because all their friends post about all the great things that are happening in their lives; the great parties they were invited to (wait, why wasn’t I invited?), the cool people they hang out with – physically and virtually, and how much they’re adored (wow, look how many “friends” they have.)

The pressure is great…and it seems to be everywhere, doesn’t it?

I think about all of this as a mother. I have two young children, and I want them to grow up having both confidence and an accurate sense of reality. I want them to know that things aren’t always as they appear… especially online.

It’s hard to sift through everything, though, isn’t it?

Even as a parent, I watch what all the other parents are posting. Their kids are talented, charitable, athletic, well-dressed, award-winning, gorgeous, doe-eyed, genius-but-not-nerdy, totally popular kids….everything their parents would want them to be.

I could read their posts and compare. I could read them and be jealous. Or…I could read them and be happy they’re achieving success as they define it for their kids.

You see, I’ve thought a lot about this question: Do I even want my kids to BE the best _________ (fill in the blank)?

I’ve also thought about this one: Do I want my kids to HAVE the best?

After much thought, here’s what I’ve decided I want for my kids. Here’s how I’ll encourage and hopefully inspire them….

Kids, I want you to BE the BEST….YOU. Be proud of yourself, even if you’re different, because you were created with intent and a unique purpose that requires you to be like no other. Be confident, but not arrogant, and be the best encourager of others, so they can find their purpose too. Be okay with failure, because that’s where you’ll learn some of life’s greatest lessons. Be kind, compassionate and forgiving, because nobody gains anything from being the opposite of these. Be faithful, believing in something much bigger than yourself, because the world is not about you, and the second you think it is, the world will teach you a lesson. Be motivated and courageous, because life is not easy and requires hard and sometimes scary work, but it will be worth it. Be thankful, because thankfulness creates joy and contentment, and life is intended to be enjoyed. Be an honest and loyal friend, who speaks the truth with love and stands firmly through the best and worst of times. Be what God intended you to be: the best YOU there is.

And do I want you to HAVE the best?

I sure do. I want you to work your hardest at everything I just said. Never, ever stop trying to be the best you…and you will EARN the best that life has to offer.

I’m cheering for you, kids, and I’ll do what I can to help you succeed. And, I might even be so excited for you that I post it on Facebook, because I’m proud to be your mom. Not because of me or anything I want in life, but because I get the privilege of helping you become what you were created to be. It’s hard work, but it’s an honor, and perhaps the most important work I’ll ever do. So, you’ll just have to forgive me if I celebrate you, as only a parent can do, with each step you take toward your own purpose. And, I hope that other parents won’t feel badly, because their child has a different path to walk.

What would you say to your kids? I’d love to hear your comments…

What’s the Good Word?

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Two years ago, during annual planning for the upcoming year, I decided to add something new to both push myself, as well as to keep me focused and inspired. I added a “Word of the Year.”

My first year doing this, I chose the word “Intentional.” It helped me to remain strategic and purposeful throughout the year. My creative side (some might call it A.D.D.) can sometimes cause to me chase after new ideas. My word, intentional, helped to keep me on track and accomplish more.

For 2012, my word has been “Courage.” It’s amazing how much I needed this word. I’ve always been very outgoing and driven, but this word pushed me further. It also inspired me, and it was even a “life-preserver” for me after we were robbed in the Spring. This one little word has provided big motivation, and I’ve seen the results.

I’ve given thought to what I want to focus on for 2013, and the word I’ve selected is “Healthy.”

I’m looking at this very holistically. I want to consider physical, mental, spiritual and emotional health. Not that I’m in “bad shape,” but I’m certain that a focus on these will be beneficial.

In the New Year, I want to take pause and consider my words, actions, behaviors, habits and choices. Are they healthy for me? Will they “feed” me? Will they energize me and make me stronger? Will they help me to be able to give more to others? Will they give me better perspective, make me wiser, help me to grow? Will I get better results that align with my values?

A healthy tree produces fruit. A healthy machine has high performance. A healthy organism grows and multiplies. A healthy person glows and is often “contagious.”

Have you ever noticed these things?

I want to be healthier. And, so, I’m going to do something about it.

What about you? What do you want for 2013? What word would help you?

1. Think about it for at least a day (and sleep on the idea too – it needs to inspire you for a year!)

2. Write the word down. Use pretty lettering and graphics. Make it looks pleasing and motivating to you.

3. Frame and display it prominently…in several places. It’s going to remind, inspire and fuel you.

4. Check yourself frequently to be sure you’re living your word.

Let your word become your theme for the year. Pursue it with passion, and celebrate the results! What’s going to be your good word?

#BecomeYourBest

ErinSchreyer.com

Cultivating your confidence, leadership and strengths!